![]() Does a child have to be killing kittens or hurling pea-hen eggs for a parent to be on red alert? But other than an unhealthy fascination with Cowboys and Indians, it's hard to see the traits of the infant Hitler that showed the man he was to come. Klara Hitler had six kids and a boorish husband who seemed to fail at whatever he turned his hand to. There is no doubt that this is the coalface of human nature, a place where shoves and hits and biffs and bats are unveiled, brutal and deeply heartfelt, but what behaviour is just natural one-year-old behaviour and what is antisocially antisocial? At what point does a Mega Blox car become Poland? ![]() 'Share, share,' I call from across the sink as they are pushing and shoving the teddy-on-the-motorbike-toy and they both just peer at me and shake their heads in a very firm 'no no no no no, Mummy' and then give me a look which says Have you tried sharing a toy that's no bigger than your palm? You really want us to share? Buy us a Kiddietips Swingset. Whereas, I had a vision of twins as best friends, my boys seem to do little but bully and brawl. George grabs the back of Edgar's nappy to prevent him from crawling away, Edgar bites George leaving great welts in which one can quite clearly decipher the imprint of each tooth. Edgar reaches over and snatches George's Mega Blox car while George is in the middle of running it backwards and forwards over the lumpy rim of a basket Edgar is seemingly oblivious to his brother's pained howls. George sits at his highchair ignoring his own Vegemite toast but eating Edgar's while Edgar tries to bat him away (in much the same way Edgar expertly flicks all fruit onto the floor). I have found myself wondering about Hitler's mother over the last week as I have witnessed some particularly unsavoury behaviour in my young men. There won't be sex on the photocopier but there will be a chance to tinsel up, dissect our partners' psychological makeup (could be a law firm) and toast the end of a year hard worked. A lovely drink not too much, but just enough to make the evening fizzy fun.Īnd so, in the spirit of the Yule, a group of mothers and I are having our own Christmas party tonight. Accessorising with Christine's rather than dusty documents (then) and pumpkin (now). Sure, the smaller the firm the more likely it was to end with somebody dry-humping the receptionist on the dance floor, but there was much to love about those Christmas parties too. But for all the downsides of a career in the law, there was always the annual Christmas Party. The hardest things about motherhood is that there are no weekends (like the law), late nights (like the law) but absolutely no chance of career progression - unless you count grandparenthood which is no absolute for our generation and in any event, seems to entail minding the grandchildren anyway (in all families bar mine). Menial, sure tedious, ditto, but turn your eye for one second and your child is eating a snail. It was menial, it was tedious and regardless of how dreary the subject matter (the chemical components in freezer fluid, sale distribution of bricks) it required agonising attention to detail. We would find ourselves in a room with 200 boxes of paper to read and record. When I was working as a junior lawyer in a large firm, my peers and I were entrusted with an even larger number of documents through which to trawl. It occurred to me recently that motherhood is a lot like my career in the law.
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